A Strong Woman

Why is it that such horrible experiences, nightmares even, can bring people closer together? I’ll never understand it. Maybe it’s a way for us all to appreciate life a little more, embrace the ones we love more often, or maybe it’s a way to learn life’s lessons. All I know is that it’s happened to me quite a few times in my 33 years. Once when I was 21 and lost a boyfriend I loved more than anything, I now have a relationship with his mother that is incredible. Talk about a strong woman. Then I was tested again when I was 23 and watched my father fade away from lung cancer. Not only am I closer to my whole family because of it but I have a relationship with my mother and sister that is indescribable. Again, more strong woman in my life.

Then once again when my husband called me six weeks ago to tell me his mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. My heart instantly broke. I’m not going to lie and say that my Mother-in-law and I have always gotten along because we haven’t! We actually butted heads a lot. I had no idea it was because we had so much in common. LOL.  I never gave her a chance for so many reasons, reasons that were wrong, reasons that should never have happened. Aaaaaaand vice versa! I still don’t know why, but I no longer care anymore. Things happen for a reason and I truly believe that. Here is a picture of me and my MIL back in 2006 in Florida.

My MIL was very lucky, they caught this in stage one, but though she was going to be ok in the end it was only the beginning of her struggle. Yet another struggle she was going to have to go through in her life. How many trying times must one go through in life? Our relationship was surly on the mend when this news came about, we both had declared a new beginning to our relationship and we were slowly building a mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship I’ve always wanted. So when I sat there that day listening to what she was about to go through I vowed to myself from here on out I just want to be there for her. I know how it feels to need your family support when you are going through something so difficult.

So after going through the beginning stages of finding out you have this horrible disease, tests, biopsy’s, wait patiently for results, getting poked, getting pricked and waiting some more for results she finally went in for surgery. Only to have to go in two weeks later AGAIN….. because they didn’t get it all. This all happened around the holidays, my mother’s mother, my nana had breast cancer well over 25 years ago, back then, instant mastectomy! But she survived!! My MIL then reached out my Nana, I can only imagine how good it must feel to talk to someone who has been through it, I know she reached out to others that have been their as well. Little by little over the last 6 weeks I saw my MIL in a way that I never have before. I never got a chance to see her be strong, I didn’t know her when her mother passed away, I didn’t know her well when she left her husband of 25 years, I can’t believe something so horrible has made me see just what kind of woman she is. Their were days when I heard the positiveness in her voice when she spoke, their were days when she just fell down and got back up again, she spent my daughters second christmas in our home watching her open gifts a week after her surgery. I know that this is still the beginning of her battle, I know she has to wait many years to hear those words she must long to hear from any doctor, but she’s got a great support system and has the best attitude I’ve ever seen.  I’m honored to be their for her, I’m honored to be her daughter-in-law and MORE than honored to give her the little girl she always wanted 🙂 I think her and I have learnt a lot over the years about each other, about life, and most importantly just how precious life can be. Now that I’m a mother I can honestly see the importance of your children’s happiness and I promise you Sylvie I always keep your son and your grandchildren happy. This experience has taught us both so much about each other, about others, about life in general and because of that she’s gained some great relationships.

Here are some pictures I want to share. The day I married my love. I gave my MIL a flower and Andy gave my mother a flower, it was important to us to honor our mothers on that day because they are the reason why we are the people we are today.

Here is a picture from the day I delivered my daughter, what a proud

Grammy!

Here is a picture from this past Christmas, Maddie loved opening gifts!

And a picture of Andy and his mom on the last day of her treatment, yesterday!! As a surprise Madison, my best friend and myself sat in the waiting area of the Elliot waiting for her to start her treatments, if anyone was going to get her through that dreadful day I knew it would be the smile of my daughter. Ending her journey, Andy showed up to surprise her and let her know she is so very loved!! Yay!!! Way to kick cancers butt!! I love you!