Why I long to see you sleep sweet babies.
People tell me to not look at the clock and wish for nap time or count the minutes until bedtime. How can I not after a long day of many giggles, a lot of intervening on who’s turn it is, many crumbs, a lot of tears, and of course we can’t forget the answering of a gazillion questions I answer. I am only human. I long to see you sleep because that is the time when I reflect on just how beautiful you are.
Why I long to see you sleep sweet babies.
I know that I will someday want these days back. Yet I still long for time to myself, a chance to pee alone, and a moment of silence a few times a day. How can I not when time to myself makes me feel human again, a chance to pee alone means a minute to myself and a moment of silence a few times a day that makes me breath deep and regroup. I long to see you sleep because I truly love looking back on the day to remember it for those days where I do have time for myself, a chance to pee alone, and many moments of silence.
Why I long to see you sleep sweet babies.
As a mother I need to “feel” full-filled. I need to “feel” within my heart that I’m doing right by my children on a daily basis. I need to “feel” that the decisions I made that day will turn out and in the end create wonderful people. It’s about how you “feel” not what is “factual”. I long to see you sleep because at the end of the day when I tip toe past your room and I look in on you, that’s when I truly “feel.”
Why I long to see you sleep sweet babies.
My daughter grabs a toy from my son and screams “Bad Boy!”. My son spills the whole entire box of 837 legos. Appointments are mixed up and need to be rescheduled. The leaves are not going to rake themselves. The grocery list must be created because it means so much to me to know we are slowly working towards all fresh and whole foods vs boxed dinners. I long to see you sleep because when I see your cute little mouth twitch and see you hugging your stuffed animal, the screams and spills, the missed appointments, lack of leave racking and fresh dinner vs. boxed dinners just do no matter anymore.
Why I long to see you sleep sweet babies.
The man I fell in love with 8 years ago continues to blow my mind more and more every day. He is just as much as inspiring as he is generous. I long for the days when it will be just him and I again. Simply because I miss him not because I don’t love my life now. I remind myself a lot of where my beautiful family began because as we get caught up in the every day craziness called life I always try and remember and appreciate why my husband and I decided to bring children into this world. I long to see you sleep sweet babies because when I see your tiny little foot sticking out of the blanket, all is right in the world.
Why I long to see you sleep sweet babies.
The constant way I doubt myself and the weigh of worry that falls on my shoulders are both something I never experienced until I became a mother. Their were books upon books I read when I was pregnant. How to do this, don’t forget to do that, and OH gosh don’t ever ever do that. I never read a book about just how hard it was to raise a family. No book on how the worry starts with will my baby stop breathing at night but only continues onto the playground of please please include my child when you play. A parenting blog?!! What was that before I had kids. I long to see you sleep sweet babies because when I watch the rise and fall of your chest all of the worries and doubts are suddenly gone.
