When did you know your family was complete?

When did you know if your family was complete?

I’m not sure I’ve had my “Ah Ha” moment that my family is complete. However, there are quite a few factors to consider when weighing the serious question of “When did you know your family was complete?” I’ve never been a huge career person. I always wanted to be a Momma. My Mom stayed home with my sister and I when we were young. Fast forward to 27, I still had not met my “Mr.Right.” For the first time in my life I had to think of making my corporate accounting background a career. I liked the job, it paid well, however I didn’t “Love” it. I even went back to school to pursue my Bachelors in Business since I had stopped at my Associates Degree.  Half way through the first semester I hated it. It was hard, I didn’t understand it and I wanted nothing to do with it.  I was slowly getting down on myself because the thought of not meeting “mr. right” was not the way I had envisioned my life. I continued to work at the job I had because I liked it, I was still learning new things and had a great group of co-workers.

A year later I met my husband. It wasn’t an easy start, I was still mourning my father and another relationship that I never could seem to get over. Luckily his gut told him that I was the one and he patiently waited for me and supported me. That very patient part of my husband is what made me fall in love with him. He became my best friend. His kindness blew me away. He still says to this day that the part that made him fall for me was my strength. The fact that I knew what I wanted in life and I wasn’t going to stop until I got it. At that point in time it was to climb the corporate ladder one more rung and become a Momma someday. The funny part is, I knew exactly what I wanted I just had no idea how to achieve it. He viewed me as a strong go getter and I didn’t know it at the time that I wasn’t not strong and I was NOT a go getter. However he saw that in me. Nine months into our relationship my husband bought a condo and wanted me to move in with him, I thought it was too soon but the traveling from MA to NH each weekend and some nights a week to be with him was getting to me. Then that next rung on my ladder appeared when a friend of mine told me a managers position opened up in the Accounting department of the bank she worked at. Literally 5 minutes from my husbands condo. It was what I needed to make the move even though I was scared. Nine months wasn’t long.

And so my family began….

The end is really history. I was at that job for years. I left two months before my oldest was born and never looked back. Being a stay at home mom never occurred to me. I assumed we couldn’t afford it.  When I got pregnant my husband sat down and put a budget together and presented it to me. He said see you can stay home. We just have to cut back on things. OMG I had no idea how much we were spending on eating out! I was scared because I’ve never not worked before. The budget also didn’t really leave us much money left at the end of the month to save for a home either. When my husband says we will make it work I trust his every word because he’s good with our finances and numbers is his thing. The last two months of my pregnancy with my daughter were some of the best months of my life. I gave my notice and officially became a SAHM.  I got to sleep when I needed sleep, I got to set up her nursery and…….that’s when I found my way into the kitchen.

Welcome to motherhood.

After my daughter was born I had a hard time. Whether it was Post Partum Depression or motherhood rearing it’s ugly head at me, it doesn’t matter. I got through it. There were times when I longed to go back to work. There were so many times I even sent my resume out to companies. My husband said he would support me with whatever I wanted to do. I used to think that I lost myself in that first year of my daughters life. However, when I look back on it, I was really just becoming a Momma. I was learning how to put someone else before myself, I was slowly figuring out that I was just where I was meant to be. Though there are still rough patches and long days I know that “job” that I was “meant” to do, that career that I just couldn’t get interested in in my twenties was just being Momma. I’m blessed that I get to be home with my children and since starting the #HandsFreeLife I’ve been able to remember just how lucky my family and I are.

Was my family complete?

 Two months before my daughter turned two I joined the gym and vowed to make a change. I couldn’t believe how much eating better and working out could really help you feel better. We started talking about having another baby. I was scared, it took almost a year to conceive my daughter however we were still in a small condo. I was terrified of not being able to juggle two kids and most importantly the thought of loving another child as much as I loved my daughter seemed impossible. Read Learning to Love Two here, because you really just do. Everyone told me I’d learn to juggle two just like I learned to be a Momma to one. Age wasn’t on my side for much longer so we said ok it’s time. We announced to our family at my daughters second birthday that I was 5 weeks pregnant. First times a charm 😉

Welcome Baby Boy……

The day we found out we were having a boy may have been my Ah-Ha moment. Gods way of telling me my family was complete because know I got to be a Momma to a boy and a girl. I could hardly believe it. I couldn’t have been more happy. I was so lucky. I had two amazing pregnancies. We even moved in the middle of my second trimester into that house that I never thought I’d get by opting to stay home with my daughter, see I told you my husband was good with his numbers and a budget.

After having my son I truly felt complete. I had everything I wanted. Seven months after having him I realized it was time to take care of me. Once and for all. I had my gall bladder out after months of being in pain and three weeks after that I had a breast reduction. I knew it was time to do something for myself but as a Momma it’s hard to actually make it happen. It was a rough few months of recovery and down time. It was a long Winter and Spring but I can happily say two and a half years later, 25 pounds less, and eating more healthy than I ever have I can say I believe my family is complete.

My son turned two this Summer. My baby is growing so fast, he is learning to talk, my daughter is turning five at the end of the month. I get baby fever a lot. I believe I will continue to get baby fever for years to come. I will always smile when I see a newborn, or ask to hold another baby when family or friends visit. It’s just something that is inside of me, I’ve been stopping and googling at babies since I was probably 14. I feel my family is complete.

Knowing that these days go by so fast is really making me appreciate the smaller moments a little more with my kids. About a month ago my daughter started attending Jr. Kindergarden three days a week. My son goes to the same daycare 2 days out of the three because I work from home part-time. Fridays have been amazing. I have my son all day alone and it gives me that one on one time with him that he so deserves. Then I’ve been taking my daughter out for date nights just her and I. Maybe a movie or dinner out. She’s such a different kid when it’s just her and I. It’s been making me see that I love this one on one time with each of my kids and how much time I would I loose if I had another. It’s what makes me feel as if my family is complete.

What a tough decision to have to make as a couple. Do we? Can we? Should we? In the end you make the right decision together and just hold on for the ride. 

When did you know if your family was complete?