I Wish Someone Told Me…….

That life is just too short. 

Today I’m linkin up with Kat over at “Mama Kat’s Writing Workshop.” I’ve done a few of these in the past. This Mama can write. I still get her emails listing 5 prompts on what to write about. Every week I ponder them. She has such great topics that really gets my mind going. Most weeks I’m just too busy and can’t sit down and give it my all because I have two kids to raise, a house to keep up, a husband to keep happy, friends to see, family to laugh with, and many glasses of wine to drink!

When we are born into this silly place called life we never know how long it’s going to last. We get caught up in all of the everyday things I just spoke about.  When my grandmother was born she had no idea she would live to see 81 beautiful years. When my father was born he had no idea he would only life 49 short wonderful years and when a person I hold close to my heart was born, he had no idea that he would only live 24 short years and get only 4 years with his beautiful daughter. It’s called life. Though we never really know I wish someone told me. If someone told me this I would have hugged that person so close to my heart one last time, I would have asked my grandmother to share one more story of when my dad was young, and I would have appreciated my Dad more than I already did.

I wish someone told me that life is just too short. I would have stayed out past curfew a few extra times. (Sorry Mom!) I would have done better in school instead of wondering if so and so liked me. I would have loved a little more and let go a little easier. I would have stopped to help others more, I would have drank less but partied more. I would have cried happier tears and let go of the sad ones.

I wish someone told me that life is just too short.

If I left this silly place called life at 24 like that said special friend, well I wouldn’t have been married, I wouldn’t have had children and I wouldn’t have had as much heartache that has made me who I am today. If I left this silly place called life at 49 like my father did I most likely wouldn’t see my youngest graduate high school, I wouldn’t see my children get married and I wouldn’t get to experience being a grandparent.  If I left this silly place called life at 81 like my grandmother did then I would consider my life complete. I’d most likely see my children get married, experience being a grandparent and maybe even get to enjoy my husband again!

If someone had told me just how short life was what would I do differently? Everything? Nothing? I guess if life worked this way we wouldn’t really be who we were meant to be now would we?

I wish someone told me that motherhood was really really hard……

I would have had my protective gear on, my pants belted up to my chest and my fists raised ready to fight this thing I call motherhood. I would have stressed a lot less when trying to get pregnant, instead of wasting countless minutes on thinking something was wrong with me. I would have enjoyed those sleepless nights a bit more trying to rock my colicky baby back to sleep knowing that I’ll never get those moments back. I would have cried less on the bathroom floor when my daughter didn’t want to nap…..I would have just known that skipping a nap was OK!! I would have bought stock in wipes knowing that I’d be elbow deep in shit for the next 6 years….or longer if my almost 4 year old ever goes on an actual potty instead of asking for a pull up.

I wish someone told me that motherhood was really really hard…..

It wouldn’t have stopped me, I would have just drank more knowing I couldn’t catch a good buzz again for at least 25 years. I would have slept at least 12 hours a night knowing I wouldn’t sleep a decent night again for the next 25 years. I would have spent more time with my husband because 25 years is a long time before we get to “really” enjoy each other again. I would have spent more time with my friends knowing that parenthood can distance you and change  you as a person.

I wish someone told me that in order to love, first you must love yourself….

I wouldn’t have cried in high school so much when my boyfriend dumped me. I would have known that I’d find another. I would have known that It meant I deserved better and I would have trusted in myself a bit more. I wouldn’t have spent countless days and nights counting calories, researching fad diets and not eating. I would have just gone to the gym more, worked harder and looked in the mirror more often.

I wish someone told me that in order to love, first you must love yourself….

I would have learnt to not let people walk on me and take advantage of my good heart before I was well into my 20’s. I would have believed in myself more and went to college for what I truly wanted to but instead I “assumed” I just couldn’t do it. I would have learnt to communicate sooner and may not have lost some of the people that I’ve lost in my life. I would “known” that I deserve the very best and would have saved myself many nights with the thoughts of why this person and this person has let me down and disappointed me yet AGAIN.

So I ask myself again…….I Wish Someone Told Me…………...NOTHING. 

If someone had told me just how short life was, I wouldn’t have had 24 years of memories with my father.

If someone had told me just how hard motherhood was, I may not have two beautiful children that I wouldn’t change for the world.

If someone had told me that in order to love, first you must love yourself, I wouldn’t have met my husband and I wouldn’t be sitting here today being a strong, confident, loving person than I am.