Happy Birthday! An Interview w/my Momma!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOOOOOO MEEEEE……HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! OK that’s the extent of my singing. I’ve been working with Madison all week on “Happy Birthday” but we weren’t very successful! Oh well maybe next month by daddy’s birthday.

When thinking about what I wanted to write about for my birthday post, nothing just jumped at me until the other day. I thought about talking about “My Journey” how I got to be where I am today, but that’s boring and I’ve probably already bored you with all of that at some point or another. I thought and thought, and then I remembered the person I love spending my birthday with is the person who brought me into this world. My Momma!!! I’m sure you’ve heard me talk about her, I talk about her a lot. She’s awesome. She is the strongest, smartest, most loving person I have ever gotten to know. Yes I say gotten to know because as an adult now, as a mother myself now, I have gotten to know her in a whole different light.

Here we are at my wedding.

I needed her as a child to provide for me, I needed her in my teenage years to guide me into making the right choices. I needed her in my twenties to be a mother and a father since we lost my dad so young. Now, I need her as a friend. When I found out I was pregnant, my mother was the first person I wanted to tell. Well besides my husband, but he was there 🙂 She waited so patiently while I found the “right one”, waited by the sidelines until we were “ready” to start our family, so when I thought about giving birth I wouldn’t have it any other way than having my mother, my best friend by my side. I know a lot of people who thought I was nuts, thought that it’s a private moment between husband and wife, and though it is, I couldn’t have done it without her. So think what you will, I needed my mommy god dammit!! 🙂 So here we are waiting for Madison’s arrival. Her looong arrival. I would never want my mother to lie to me. I would never expect her to lie to me, however that day, the day I gave birth to my daughter, I needed her to lie to me, she knew me enough to know that she needed to lie too. About what? Well I’m a baby, I hate pain, we just don’t get along. So when it came to pushing, when I kept asking everyone if she was coming along? If those hard pushes I was putting all of my effort into was paying off? If Madison was any closer to being born? No one was answering me. My mom took one look at me and lied. She lied, can you believe it??? She said “YES!!” A lie that seems so little was so big to me because 3 hours later when Madison was born, my mom was the one that helped me in the way that I needed help. As they say, no one knows their own daughter more than the mother is so true.

She was one of the first ones to hold Madison. Here is my mom holding her first granddaughter.

Once I started thinking of questions I wanted to ask my mom for this post, they started flowing…..man did they flow! All of a sudden I just had a million questions. I cried when I read the answers. My husband asked me why, but I didn’t really know. Maybe because I don’t feel like the “happy child” she so often describes me as in these answers, maybe because a part of me longs to be that happy child again. Or maybe just because I’ve come such a long way since being that happy little girl.