Dear Drew – Your Birth Story

You are finally here my love. I feel like I’ve waited forever to hold you. To touch your sweet face, hold your tiny fingers in mine, to whisper sweet loves into your ear.

The day started like any other day. It was a Tuesday so your sister was home. Driving me nuts as usual, thank god I had Nunny and TT to help keep her busy! We left Nunny’s apartment and walked (or waddled in my case) over to our house to put Madison in for a nap when I felt water drip down my leg. Since it wasn’t followed by any contractions and it wasn’t much I wasn’t concerned. I called Nunny and Daddy to tell them, of course Daddy wanted me to call the Dr. ASAP because he was worried (that’s what Daddy’s do) however Mommy decided to lay down like she did everyday your big sister was home so she could rest and regroup! An hour and a half later I heard “Momma!!!!!!” I got up and felt more water run down my leg……hmmmm….OK it was time to call the Dr. since I was still not feeling any contractions. The Dr. wanted to see us by dinner time to check and see if it was indeed my water breaking!

You were so good to Mommy. I feared being induced since I was with your sister and had a horrible experience. On the way to the hospital I started feeling some light contractions however there was no rhyme or reason to them. By the time I was examined and checked in, they came harder and faster. Still nothing I couldn’t handle. We were then given the good new: You were on your way buddy!!  By the time they hooked me up to be induced you were WELL on your way and my epidural was ordered! No being induced for this Momma! Thank you very much baby boy! Within a few hours of having the epidural you made your way into this world. All 9 lbs 5 oz 20 inches of you sweetheart. Your Nunny, TT and Daddy watched you enter this world and I couldn’t have been more proud of myself because at one point it got very scary.  My midwife looked at me with a serious but touching look on her face and said “I NEED one more BIG push Tammi, it’s very important.” I had no idea what was going on, I had no idea that your shoulder was stuck. At that point I knew it was important, the mommy in me kicked in and all of the fears and pain was instantly gone …….. so with everything that I had, with every ounce of love I already had for you,  we welcomed you into this world baby boy. You didn’t cry at first. I never saw the nervous look on the nurses face, or anyone else for that matter, you were here and all I wanted to do was hold you. You were black and blue but from what we could tell you weren’t breathing……..I wasn’t scared for some reason I knew you were OK, even though the midwife said you could have a broken clavical, I didn’t care………breathing is what matters! You were OK sweetheart you were just in awe of the entrance you made I think. I can tell in the two short weeks that you’ve been here that your personality is laid back and happy…..very opposite of your big sister! You were quite black and blue for a few days because of that entrance you insisted upon but you just got more and more handsome as the hours went on.

I have to admit our stay at the hospital was scary for me. I had so many mixed feelings, I loved you so much already but knowing your big sister was at home, not knowing her life was about to be changed forever was just eating at me. I didn’t know how to deal with those feelings. I think as the Momma it was only natural for me to be concerned about both my babies. I just needed you both in my arms. The first night in the hospital was tough for me because you would cry and I couldn’t do anything but hold you and feed you. If you needed your diaper changed or needed to bounce around, I couldn’t do it. It’s the one part I brutally hated with both births. I envied your Daddy as he bounced around the room with you to calm you down, luckily you were such a good boy it was only a few times because with your sister it was a longer recovery for Mommy and she was a crankier baby! Shhhhhh!! Don’t tell her that though! Our bond got even stronger the second we got home. I still fear the Post Partum, but I’m doing everything I can to stay on top of it, I’m going to Mommy groups, seeing my therapist, I’m talking with Daddy and I’m learning to ask for help.

You are the sweetest little thing…..you are such a good boy and even though Madison is still adjusting to having you here I know she will come around and she will be the best big sister ever. Remember when I used to talk about our alone time at night, when Daddy was working and I’d lay in bed and feel you kicking. Well now I get to enjoy you even more at night, you seem to have an awake time before I go to bed which is great because I’m already loving that special time alone with you. I don’t even care about the lack of sleep I get these days, it’s amazing how much it’s not phasing me this time around.

You’ve had many visitors and you’ve already enjoyed your first holiday!!

You are only two weeks old and we’ve already done so much together. Mommy group, Camp trips, shopping trips, and BBQ’s!! You’ve even met your first cousin too!

Daddy is enjoying having the month off with us. He sure deserves it. We deserve it.

I’m trying to not think ahead to when he goes back to work. I get overwhelmed with the thought of juggling both of you, as Daddy says I just need to have some confidence!! So for now I”m going to enjoy you, enjoy this time and enjoy this very day. I love you so very much baby boy. I’ll leave you with this picture….

Love,
Mommy