A Year of Motherhood Remembered…..and a Giveaway!

When I think about 2014 coming to an end I can’t help but think of how far I’ve come in the blogging world. I think about how Momma’s Meals started and I have a confession to make. I actually used to blog on a platform site called Xanga. I don’t know how I started it but I do remember why. I was the first in my family to have a child and I felt like I couldn’t talk to anyone about how my world was slowly changing. I felt like it would be selfish of me to admit that the one thing I wanted all of my life was finally here and I was miserable. So I started blogging. It made me feel better getting it out there, I thought maybe if I felt this way maybe others did too. I remember sitting in the rocking chair the first night we brought Madison home I just rocked her and rocked her. I looked at her precious face and I couldn’t believe that I could love so much. The day I married my husband was the day I thought I couldn’t be more happy, more complete. I was wrong. However as the night wore on I found my gaze going back to the picture on the wall of me and my beautiful pregnant belly. I longed for it to be about only me and my husband again. The tears came in waves as I sat their thinking I can’t do this, I’m not strong enough to take care of this beautiful little life. The guilt ate at me that I felt this way when I finally had everything I ever dreamed of. Damn hormones. Damn hormones that turned into post partum depression. Sometimes I wonder if it was even post partum depression and maybe it was more like motherhood slapping me in the face! As terrible as that sounds.

I think about how far I’ve come as a mother when the year ends. I realize that I don’t think of those moments that bring me to my very knees some days. I think of how much stronger I’ve become in a years time. I don’t think of the days where I’ve been tried to the very end with my oldest talking back to me in a way that I still don’t know how to deal with. Instead I think of how much Madison has grown, how much of a little girl she’s become and what a joy she has brought to my little family. I do not think of the sleepless nights with my son when EVERY single tooth came in. I remember the days that he had me in stitches with his sweet little personality, and how he dances with every little tune.  I don’t feel as if there is no one to talk to anymore or complain to because in the past year, I realized that my mother truly understands my feelings and I can vent to her any time of the day. I don’t think about how I may just be writing into the world of blogging with no one to see or hear me, I think of how many people I can help with my words and maybe my family members can now lean on me since they had babies this past year.

Just remember, it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you are in the heat of a moment. When you feel like your never going to get more than two hours a sleep in a row again. When you bury your head in your hands wondering if that sweet little toddler that used to exist is ever going to make her way back into your life. When you look at your husband and dream of the days of being able to cuddle and just be together. It’s more than difficult to feel like your never going to crawl out of that hole. However we do. At the end of a year what do you look back on? What memories fill your head. Not the moments where you were stuck in that tunnel right? So embrace the good the bad and the ugly. It’s OK.

Over the holiday season I found this book that I swear came across my path for a reason. It’s called Motherhood Realized and it’s written a group called From Powers of Moms. The quote on the covers says, “An inspiring anthology for the hardest job you’ll ever love.” Isn’t that the truth? This book is full of articles written by Mom’s who blog like I do. They blog about the great days and they complain about the not so great days. This group of Mom’s took all of the very best articles written from these blogs and put them all into one little book. I call it the magical book because when I’m having a moment or a bad day I pick it up and just read a few chapters. I always walk away crying. I can not read one article without crying. Why? Is it sad? NOOOO! It’s honest. It’s the truth, and like that I’m back on track again.

For christmas I gave this book as a gift to my two cousins who have babies and my Sister-in-law who just had a baby 2 weeks ago. I think this book needs to be owned by every mother out there. So I feel like it’s my duty to give a copy of this book away. You don’t have to do much to qualify. All I ask you to do is like my blog on the social media pages you have. Facebook. Twitter. Pinterest. Instagram. Google +. Then make a comment below answering a simple question. I’ll be selecting a winner on Jan. 21st! If you’d like to subscribe to my blog you can do so at the top right hand corner, every time I post a new recipe or Motherhood rant you’ll receive an email.

What is the one thing that Motherhood has taught you about yourself?